Cat Workout Routines

More and more young felines are becoming concerned about their weight and the possibility of someday looking like a furry bowling ball with legs. That is why Catisthenics, Cat-fu and Catrobatics are the workout routines that are capturing the attention of cats worldwide. In the picture above you see some simple Catisthenics being performed with a partner. This allows for both emotional support and added resistance training.

This picture shows free form Cat-Fu, which has the added benefit of reducing stress along with burning calories and exercising all of the major muscle groups.

This last photo shows how even humans, with their albeit limited flexibility in comparison to catkind, can benefit from a rousing session of Catrobatics. Any ripped hosiery that may result from these kinds of exercises are in no way the fault of the cat or cats involved and you can rest assured that your human will thank you after seeing how toned they've become as a result of these types of workouts.

So get out there and get moving!

Yeah, I'm A Mom - Deal With It!

It is true; I am a mom. In fact, my daughter has called this a "Mom Blog" and it somehow made me feel vaguely insulted. Kind of like I had nothing to say that wasn't related to my "momness." Of course, that's not true or maybe I just didn't get it - "Mom" is who I am to her (and my son) and consequently everything I say is related to that in their eyes. Now while I haven't yet blogged about diapers or nap-time or time-outs or teaching your teens to drive or curfews or finding time for yourself to keep from going crazy or any of that mom stuff, I do have that capability.

So watch out! I may not go off like Anita Renfroe with her "Momsense", but I absolutely could.

William Tell Overture for Moms @ Yahoo! Video

In fact, I'm also a woman. So while yes, I may have rebuilt a carburetor or two, repaired the occasional broken mechanical object and programmed electronics, I can still relate to most things female. Hence, I will also be buying Anita's book, "The Purse-Driven Life", for my mom for Mother's Day. While I am currently not that into purses and shoes, I could be. I really could be.

So "Yay!" for complexity. "Yay!" for women (and kids and men and all creatures) not being pigeon-holed into stereotypical roles or likes or dislikes or even jobs (diaper-changing is not necessarily gender or age specific, by the way) and for being who they really are!

So this is what a mom looks like:

But so is this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

Well, okay, maybe not her.

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go make roll-out cookies ...

Happy April Fool's Day!

Last year I created a few April Fool's Day stories for the Cat News. Since I'm doing it again, I decided to post them here first for your perusal. So here it comes ... all the news that's fit to fake!

Newest Craze: Dishwasher Cats

This new breed of cat has been specifically bred as a compact, sleek variety that is well suited to exploring standard-size dishwashers. Although they also have the ability to inspect and adapt to refrigerators, washing machines and microwave ovens, the dishwasher is their true domain.

Breeding the ever-popular Blanket Tunneling Cat with a mix of the endangered Drapery Climbing Cat and the more common Box Cat, led to the development of Dishwasheris catus, also known as Dishwasher Cats. The helpful and exploratory nature of the Blanket Cat combines well with the daring of the Drapery Cat and the Box Cat’s love of boxy spaces.

Although a dishwasher isn’t necessary to the successful raising of D. catus, it is highly recommended. Please consider a Sink Cat if you
do not own a dishwasher. See this wonderful breed in action at Cats In Sinks.

Grow Your Own Kitty

From the fertile San Fernando Valley come compressed kitty plant discs. This innovative product allows you to grow a kitty of your own in no time. Merely place the disc in the pot provided, and add water. Like magic a full-grown kitty will sprout up and be a wonderful addition to your home and garden. Available wherever fine products are sold.

NASA’s Cats In Space

In keeping with the new administration’s commitment to science excellence, NASA has received funding to add catronauts to their space program. Although cats and other animals preceded humans into space this will be that first time that they are voluntarily going.

“I’m proud to represent my species and look forward to an extended stay on the International Space Station as soon as the Zero-Gravity
Litter 3000 is up and running,” says Commander Felix Catastrophic. “We are just scratching the surface of the benefits to be gained by further cooperation between our species.” That said, Commander “Cat”, as he’s affectionately known, presented this reporter with a dead freeze-dried mouse as a gesture of goodwill.

Unusual Twins Born

“I couldn’t believe my eyes when they were born,” says father Harry Armstrong. “At first I thought that maybe my wife had been out catting around, but the lighter-haired twin has my whiskers.”

Although rare, these non-identical twin sets have supposedly appeared in ancient times among the royal Egyptian families. Ramses and Spamses are "healthy and happy," says mom, Bastet. “My little boys are just two wonderful bundles of joy!” she exclaims.

Scientists are eager to study the children, but the parents have thus far refused all offers. “We just want our kids to have a normal childhood. They are already on a waiting list for a top of the line preschool they will be attending part-time just as soon as they are litter box trained,” the proud father declared.

Falling Off The Blogging Wagon

Hi. My name is Trilby and I’m a blogger. You may not know it to look at me. I thought I could control it, but I admit that it is a habit. I have been known to blog nights and weekends, first thing in the morning and even mid-afternoon. Never at work though! I draw the line at that!

You may have thought I had given it up. After all, I was posting here once a month and then boom! Not a word was written … here, that is. But no, I hadn’t stopped at all. I just moved my blogging over to Topix, where I made my thoughts known on everything from Pet Abuse to Stephen Colbert naming a module in the International Space Station to being the first to post the News Flash that a 5 yr-old accused of stabbing his sister over a Nintendo DS was actually innocent. His mom had framed him.

And finally, yes I'll admit it, I've even ... *gasp* ... Twittered!

Just thought you’d like to know. The first step is in admitting that you have a problem.

Of Course I Know What I'm Talking About!

Years ago, it was not okay to say the word "ass" in media broadcasting according to FCC regulations. This outdated way of thinking was updated because, as everyone knows, an ass is a donkey. Consequently, all of the following terms are to be taken completely within that context.

Ass: This is a donkey.

Jackass: Again, this is a donkey. Calling someone a jackass is like calling them a donkey and is supposed to be insulting. Donkeys would also be insulted if they understood this.

Donkey's ass: This is just redundancy. It could be referring to a donkey's bottom, but I doubt it.

Cute ass: A really adorable donkey.

Smart-ass: This is calling someone a donkey and a smart aleck at the same time. It may also imply that donkeys are clever in an annoying way.

Asshole: Obviously, this is a hole that is big enough for a donkey to fall into. Dangerous and annoying for both the donkey and its owner, assholes are found all over the world.

Ass-wipe: What better way to clean up your donkey than with an ass-wipe. This is especially handy if your donkey has fallen into an asshole and gotten all messy. Some people think this means toilet paper, but cleaning a dirty donkey with toilet paper would take a really long time, so they are wrong.

Piece of ass: When someone is talking about getting a piece of ass they are showing the same satisfaction that a vulture would experience upon finding a dead chunk of donkey.

Fine piece of ass: A particularly succulent piece of dead donkey. Vultures love this.

So, there you go. The next time you hear someone in the media say something like "I told him to get his ass out of my way" you'll know they are just referring to someone's donkey. Really, people who can't control their donkeys are irritating, I must agree. Some people are so bad, they can't find their ass using both hands and really just need to keep it stabled somewhere, don't you think?

In Which I Become Contemplative

When you renew your marriage vows for your 25th anniversary it's like saying, "I would do this with you all over again, - for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health." Then off you embark on your next 25 years (God willing) and holding hands, you dance into the future.

Renewing your vows for your 50th must feel a bit different. You won't be doing it all over again, for one thing. Holding hands, you would dance off into the future knowing that every year from here on out is a gift. Granted, it's a gift no matter what your age. However, when you can look back on more years than you can look ahead to, I'd have to believe that time together becomes more precious.

Which brings me to Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. N
o matter what else Paul has done to show us what a life well lived looks like, staying married to Joanne for 50 years is at the top of his accomplishments that I admire. I even got a little teary and shared about it here.

What have I learned from getting to where I am? Cheri
sh those you love. Time is fleeting. Eternity is real but today is a gift to be lived well. Our lives are somewhat like leaves - when the production of chlorophyll in a leaf declines you can see its true colors. When the number of years we have yet to sojourn on this planet declines, our true colors are seen, too.

Let me leave you with this: love is the most important thing we have to share. Love. A life lived for love - of a beloved, of family, of friends, of animals, of the helpless, of those in need, of those who share our dreams, of our planet - that life is beautiful.

Amazing Randomness or Does This Butt Make My Dress Look Big?

Big butt

This will have nothing to do with my butt, sorry to disappoint you, but the statement "Does this butt make my dress look big?" is my little commentary on how we humans use language. Many of us use circumvention, manipulation, finesse and flattery to attain affirmation and other positive benefits. Just listen to a salesperson or politician at work if you doubt me.

Language can be beautiful though and the language of love is the most beautiful of all. Since I'm celebrating 25 years of marriage this year, I can safely say that you can live "Happily Even After!" Oops, I meant "Ever After!" Plus, I didn't even need one of these to make it this far:

Fast forward to the random. It may only be the last day of August, but the scent of Autumn is in the air here in the Northwest. Thoughts of berry harvesting, crisp apples, pumpkins and yes, even Halloween are running through my mind. Costumes are fun any time of year and dog costumes are particularly funny. This one is a bargain and just too, too cute:

Which you can buy for your own pooch here.

It is possible to get your cat into a costume and they can be unbelievably adorable. More than likely though, the cat will just look extremely put upon and you may end up reaching for the antibacterial ointment and bandages.

Since I have the Yoda dog costume here, I can't pass up the chance to post Dogth Vader:

You don't have to have a dog or a cat to pimp out your pet in style:

For truly amazing randomness (mathematically speaking) - Click Here!